Lessons from a Goddess,
After many years of honoring and researching the energy of the divine feminine, I’ve only now come close to understanding how to truly honor the feminine energy. As an artist I have asked Mother Earth to show herself to me in her many forms so I can through my self expression communicate to the collective her beauty and presence, to capture something that is not possible to put into words. She has shown herself to me in many ways, through the medicines, through nature, through my own imagination, my art, but most of all through her children. I have met many Goddess along the way, each to me a teacher and an aspect of the divine. Each working through their own struggles in their search for happiness and love. GMother has giving me the opportunity to be of service, help, guide and heal these angels who have taught me so much along the way.
These are some of the qualities and aspects the goddess has shown to me through her many children.
-The number one aspect I’ve found to be essential is their heart, by that I mean their humbleness, honesty, purity, respect to others and to self.
-spirituality: their devotion to creator, their connection to the universe, the moon and Mother Earth, respecting their body and temple.
-warrior spirit, the fighter in each, their drive and passion to accomplish their goals , constantly evolving and bettering themselves, never giving up, continuing to get up every time she is down.
-Leadership: independence, not depending on people to do what she needs to do, taking her own initiative, not afraid of being alone, inspire others, always taking the initiative.
-self expression- way to express their creativity, sexuality and beauty.
-what makes an instant goddess is Being a mother, devotion to their family, their partner and child.
Why is this significant to me, other than Goddesses being the number one inspiration as an artist, they are here to teach us about love, they are a direct channel and connection to Mother Earth, they are builders of communities, they are the center of attention and hold space for everyone in their tribe, they are the future mothers of the next generation of children, our future leaders and visionaries. There have been many instances where I have hurt, disrespected and felt a strong urge to possess the feminine for myself, but I continue to remind myself at these moments that I can have a momentary sexual connection or a lifelong relationship having them as a sister, being a brother or father figure. I am blessed to have met all the sisters that I have.
The main reason for writing this, is to share the biggest lesson of all, what truly represents the goddess in my life and that is the women closes to my heart, my wife and my mother. For years I pushed my mother away because she would over nurture me, I would get annoyed when she would call constantly and worry, when I would unappreciated her gifts and gestures. I found myself doing the same with the new woman in my life, my wife. I thought I was perfect in many ways, enlightened in my connection to God and my community but she helped realized that as peaceful and patient as I was , I was not fully there.
The universe blessed me with a Colombian as I asked, I did not read the fine print, Colombianas tienen tremendo mal genio! Si no las respetas, te van a pelear y gritar, novela style. The universe gave me exactly what I needed. Me with my Cuban pride along with a spiritual ego. I quickly realized which was more important my pride or the love I had by my side. I saw myself as better and higher and she quickly made me realize that that already made me inferior.
Years of meditation, years providing therapy to autistic and aggressive kids were pointless when I saw that in an attempt to stop her from fighting I said thing to push her away that I can never take back, I quickly realized that I had failed as a Buddhist, as a Christ consciousness that I believed myself to be. No matter what she could have said to me I had no right to hurt her or disrespect her. She had been loving me unconditionally and would fight when she would feel unappreciated or inferior, I wanted my peace so badly that I hurt her almost to the point of no return, just so she could be a quiet. After my epiphany, I spend my every minute making up for the lack of attention, letting her know she is the center of my attention, taking care of her and fulfilling her every need. She helped me see the monster inside and forgave me and that is why she is my goddess, my lifelong teacher, The goddess incarnate within my life.
Now that I am away alone in a city just me and my wife I truly realize the importance of family and the love of a worried mother. At the end, friends come and go but family will be there for life, the ones that truly love you and see you for who you are.
I realize now that I held the medicines and ceremonies as my closest connection to source and the goddess in ayahuasca, but I see now that she was trying to teach me, that there is nothing more sacred than your closest family, the medicines are there to help you reconnect, forgive and love your family once again, to heal those broken relations. To continue to do medicines to heal , but continue to avoid, run away and ignore your family issues is no different to me than doing the ceremonies like people do marijuana recreationally. They are there to bring you back to love, that’s why I’ve decided to only do these ceremonies when I’ve no need for them. I will heal the love within my family, with my words, understanding, forgiveness and communication.
Then I will study these medicine, to provide this form of medicine to my community and be a vessel and example for healing, only after I have understood the healing within myself.
In my opinion there is only one true Goddess and that is the purity that come along with a child, the daughter I wish to have one day. The one I will devote my whole life for and the meaning for my existence, to be a creator, to be a father, to be a god to her.